I've wanted to go to a Scottish nuptial since I saw Four
Weddings and a Funeral in the early 1990s, so when the invitation
arrived to watch my young cousin Sarah plight her troth to her
long-term boyfriend from the Highlands, I leapt at the chance. I
was hoping for - and actually got - misty mountain scenery, the
forbidding Scottish Castle with decapitated large mammals on the
wall, champagne and Tayside malt to welcome us in from the cold, a
bride who looked her best and most beautiful (as all brides should
but few actually do) and, best of all, my two favourite guilty
pleasures (well, that I'm prepared to admit to here): big, butch
men in kilts and Scottish country dancing.
No honestly, if there's a better way to have fun with relatives
of all ages than Stripping the Willows and the Gay Gordon, I've yet
to discover it.
We also had the chance to witness Sarah and Derek having their
happy ending. Not to their lives, heaven forbid, they're far too
young for that, but to their story so far. A wedding is how we all
want the chapter to close, isn't it, be it on one's first youth, or
the final pages of a book.
I'm no different. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. In fact, I
won't read a book or watch a film that I know will end sadly.
So why can't I end my books in a flower-strewn chapel filled
with big hats and optimism? Why do I have a constant flow of
complaints from readers frustrated at the lack of a big, sloppy
snog at the end of Blood Harvest and Awakening?
Possibly, it's because I don't see my existing endings as
unhappy. I mean, the villainy is uncovered and nobody important
dies. What's not to like? It won't wash anymore.
She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed (UK editor) has been joined by
They-Who-Also-Wield-Enormous-Power (US and German editors) and to
keep them quiet I've had to promise for my latest book, not just
one happy ending but two, and a full blown, four-way snog on the
rooftops of Cambridge.
Trouble is, (and please don't tell 'em) I don't think it can be
done. I'm about three quarters of the way through and I've boxed
myself into a grim corner. Short of handing it over to Sophie
Kinsella at this point, I really can't see a way forward.
Now there's a thought. Anyone got her number?
Huge congratulations, Sarah and Derek, on a fabulous wedding.
Glam One and I, our hubbies, children and aged parents, all had a
ball. Here's wishing you a long and happy life together.